Did I win? Did I lose? Those are the wrong questions.

Games are often seen as a competition between two players or teams, with the goal being to come out on top. This can make playing more exciting, as there is a clear objective to strive for. However, it is also a somewhat binary approach that does not leave room for nuance.

Games, like life, are never free of mistakes. And mistakes are an essential part of the learning process and can ultimately lead to growth and improvement. Therefore, it is important to frame games not just in terms of winning or losing, but also in terms of learning and improving.

In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, researcher Carol Dweck uses the example of the coach who never asked for mistake-free games.

“He didn’t demand that his players never lose. He asked for full preparation and full effort from them. ‘Did I win? Did I lose? Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: Did I make my best effort?’ If so, he says, ‘You may be outscored but you will never lose.”

This philosophy can be applied to various aspects of life, not just sports. For example, in a work setting, we should strive to give our best effort and do our best work, even if we don’t always get the results we want. We may not always get the promotion or the raise that we think we deserve, but if we know we gave it our all, then we can walk away with our heads held high.

And in our personal lives, we should aim to treat others with kindness and respect, even if they don’t necessarily reciprocate those actions. At the end of the day, if we can say that we did our best, then that’s all that truly matters. Every experience is a lesson, and the quality of those lessons depend on our mindset, preparation and effort.

CPM